Am I in over my head?

As a teacher I have made my students blog about their readings, and thought that I should try it out as well. Blogging, as I've told my husband, is like basic cable shows were in the early '90s. A bunch of people with nothing really important to say, but wanting so badly to get their ideas out there.

I got married two months after I graduated college at the age of 22. The first two years of marriage were spent in Boston while my husband finished school, so I worked. A teacher by training, that is really all I knew how to be. I remember being in high school and thinking about what would happen after senior year. How could I stop being a student and living bell-to-bell? So I didn't. I received my degree in Special Education and went to work in middle school (six years later, I'm still there).

Life in Boston was wonderfully simple. We were immeresed with a group of friends all pretty much in the same situation. They became our family and, together, we helped each other grow up and live away from families. We dealt with some pretty severe situations, but we did it together.

After he graduated, life became real. We had to move, to the job, and away from our structure and core. Although, my husband pointed out, correctly, they would all leave too, we just left first. Starting over anew, we moved to Chicago in a 26 foot truck with our car trailing behind. Living the American dream, my parents helped us buy a townhouse, for what we thought was a good deal. People were welcoming, but it wasn't the same. Everyone was much more entrenched in their own lives and situations (especially with their children; as they often should be). The bond we had with friends in Boston never quite grew, or when it did, it took much longer.

Things were different. Growing up on the East Coast, I had taken certain things for granted. Like: hills, the ability to go to the ocean in a few hours or less, colonial style houses, and Eastern Standard Time. Now, when a TV show said it was on 7 EST/6 CST, I was the 6! Not that things weren't nice too. People were very friendly and willing to smile, even at a stranger.

After a week of setting up house and buying another car (we had to, we lived in the suburbs now), I started a master's program and eventually got a job at a local public school.

At 25 I had my first child and at 27, I had my second. They are 23 months apart. I work full time because I can't imagine staying home all day and I have to. We live in a community of very wealthy people and of people with very generous parents. Many moms don't work. I often feel less-than because of this and need to remind myself that I like working and that it makes me a better mom.

My husband, who has since switched jobs, has multiple side jobs. Our "dream" home is worth almost $100,000 less than we bought it for and at this point we see no positive way out.

There are good things too though. My children laugh and sing and show us how happy they are. We are healthy and have a strong relationship. We live in a caring community that continues to grow.

However, at times I wonder if I am in over my head.